do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We have so much sex to catch up on
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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