I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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