Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Did I show you my penis last night?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
