Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
