soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
