So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
