I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
