my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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