Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize