Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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