I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
