I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
