I think I won the penis lottery.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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