the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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