got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
