Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize