Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Still dying that you shit outside
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
