I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish i was in the wii world.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
