Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
