having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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