it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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