i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
