I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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