the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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