No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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