Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I am midnight drunk by noon
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
