is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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