dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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