I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
