my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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