; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
