I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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