i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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