I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
