bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
