Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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