we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
