just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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