p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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