Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
