Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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