guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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