Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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