PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
