Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
