rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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