Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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