i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
