When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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