"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
How external is "for external use only"?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
