Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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