i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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