Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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