So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
