Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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