Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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