he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
