There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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