Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize