You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
