your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
