just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
