she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Are my feet made of real feet?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
