Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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