My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
